I Loved Her First

"Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad." -- Anne Geddes

When Justin and I were engaged, I started to research some good Father-Daughter dance songs, even though I was pretty sure I knew what song my dad would want to dance to.  My senior year of high school, I got a bit more into country music and my new love rubbed off on my dad, who now listens to the country station in his car.  One of the more popular father-daughter dance songs now is the one that my dad wanted to dance to: "I Loved Her First" by Heartland.  I gave him five options including that one but when I told him this he said, "I already know what song I want to dance to."  And this was the song he choose before even hearing my other options.  (The funny part is when we actually went to dance he asked me, "So what song are we dancing to?" :) )

This song made me cry when I heard it before, but now it makes me cry for even more reasons. 

I was enough for her not long ago

I was her number one, she told me so

And she still means the world to me, just so you know

So be careful when you hold my girl

It makes me think of how much my dad has always meant to me.  I always felt close to him since I was sort of dubbed the "tomboy" of the three of us girls (even though we all played sports through college.)

But I loved her first, I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it's still hard to give her away
I loved her first

It makes me so proud to have a dad who has worked so hard to give everything to his kids.  To think that someone can love you that much is amazing.

How could that beautiful woman with you
Be the same freckle faced kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights

And to think about how my dad feels about my husband is also amazing, especially because I believe my family loves him almost as much as I do.

And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time

And now, it hits me even harder because I think about Justin and our daughter.  And that one day, God willing, Justin will give our daughter away to someone that, hopefully, we love as much as my parents love Justin.

Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you

I loved her first

I will never forget Kayla's birthday for many reasons.  It's hard to verbalize what you feel exactly when your baby is born.  I can honestly say that I felt incredible love at the same time as intense fear and anxiety.  But I think the most memorable part of that day will be the image of my husband first holding our daughter, staring down at her and crying.  I don't think I've ever seen Justin cry, and seeing physical evidence of his immediate love for her was overwhelming.

I have been so blessed to have my Dad in my life, and I was so lucky to find such an amazing Daddy in Justin.  And now, we get to understand the love our parents have for us through our daughter.

"We never know the love of our parents for us until we have become parents."

I also get to see my dad as a granddad, showering our daughter with all the love in the world.  Sometimes, I have to step back and remember how lucky I am when things get difficult.

I love you Dad and Justin, more than you will ever know.

"A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be."

My sharks :)