Thursday, June 30, 2011

Are you kidding me???

If you saw my post early today about diapers, let me update you on the situation.

The diapers sold out in about 5 minutes, maybe 6.  I had an account, I had all pages ready to reload with the 2 items I wanted, and it took 12 minutes for the pages to load.  And when they did, only newborn and size 0 diapers were left.  No diapers for me this time around.  Maybe in July, I'm crossing my fingers.

I did buy wipes though, since those are always in stock.  Many cloth diapering moms will tell you to make your own wipes, but I've heard such great things about these wipes I wanted to try them.  And there are some in red, white and blue for the 4th.  Oh well, at least something is coming in the mail.  (And a nice person from Wedding Bee sent me an AIO and I should be getting a swim diaper any day.)

Until July...

No sleep last night...

due to my excitement at the possibility of getting new diapers today.  It's sad really.

Ragababes are 2-step hybrid diapers (similar to the GroVia diapers I reviewed on my cloth diapering page) and they also have all-in-ones (which I don't have any of).  I'm going to try to buy 2-3 diapers today in their stocking.

See, here's the thing.  They moved their production from the east coast to the Midwest and don't have a full stocking.  So they do 1-2 stockings of diapers each month until they get themselves settled.  Well, I'm practically dying to try them due to rave reviews I've been reading.  (I may be obsessed with cloth diapering...I'm not sure.)  So basically, they are doing their stocking today at 2 pm, so I have to get online and refresh...refresh...refresh the web page until I can add the diapers I want to my cart.  And then I pray I am one of the lucky ones that's gets the diapers they want.

I couldn't sleep last night I am so excited.  I've already mapped out exactly what I want to add to my cart and priced it all out today.  I've been stalking the website and learning all I can and now all I do is wait until 2 pm.

I mean...look at these beauties! :)

See you later, I'm going to restart my computer to make sure it's as fast as it can possibly be.  I might also do some hard drive cleaning to increase speed for diaper purchasing....

Hi, my name is Melissa and I'm addicted to cloth diapering.

(Everyone in unison: "Hi, Melissa...")  Not funny?

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Doesn't get any better than this...

For me at least!

Since becoming a mom, after I got over that whole PPD thing and Kayla started really developing a personality, there are small things she does throughout the day that really make up for any frustrating or bad times.

Example: Today, she was really crabby after being awake for about an hour or so after her first nap.  I tried to keep her up a little longer then gave up when she started rubbing her eyes.  I put her down and literally tried to calm a screaming baby for 45 minutes.  I'm not exaggerating.  It doesn't bother me that much but there are things I could be doing while she sleeps, like finishing the laundry or planning what to pack for our road trip this weekend.  But instead, I'm shushing and patting and rocking my baby, only to have her sleep for 30 minutes afterwards.

She didn't wake up crying, just talking as usual so it wasn't so terrible.  Then, this happened:

She was literally in a fit of giggles (with me which is why parts of the video are shaky) for about 15 minutes about her pacifier.  Seriously, how can you be mad after that!

What small things can make a bad day good for you?  Leave me a comment!

Monday, June 27, 2011

NMM 6/27/11

This week's episode of New Mom Mondays:

When all else fails.  Breathe.

I can't even tell you how many times in the first 3-4 months of Kayla's life I had to put her down and take a few deep breaths.  A lot of times crying helped me, but I had a lot more going on as well!  I promise it gets better, and soon you will find that you no longer have to stop and take a few breaths because the frustrating times are few and far between the extremely joyous times!  You will soon miss those days when your son or daughter was a newborn...

Speaking of babies growing up to are a few short videos I took on Kayla's five month birthday when she decided she wanted to learn how to crawl...up on all fours and rocking like a mad woman...

Sunday, June 26, 2011


We had a fun weekend with one of Justin's best friends, and one of his best men, Andrew.  He drove down on Friday night from Pittsburgh to spend the weekend with us.  I'll do a weekend recap tomorrow or Tuesday once I get some of the photos uploaded and edited a bit.  But, I'll leave you with two things.

1.) Kayla loves the pool...well loves is a strong word but she loved it on Saturday and was just o.k. with it on Sunday.

2.) As mentioned previously she loves swinging so I'm in search of a park were we can go swing around here.  But for now, here's some video from my last trip to the Midwest to visit my family.  Aunt Megan, Samson, Kayla and I are taking a road trip out there on Friday (maybe stopping in Columbus at some point to meet Kayla's new cousin...and by cousin I mean my mom's cousin's son's daughter...they have the same Great Great Grandparents! :) )

Friday, June 24, 2011

Diaper trade!

I love blogs.  I love writing this one.  I love reading them.  I spend most of my free time during the day (a.k.a. when Kayla is napping) reading blogs.  One of my favorite wedding blogs, Wedding Bee, has discussion boards.  I still venture over there multiple times a day because they have "Nesting" boards, including newlyweds, pets, babies, etc.  I obviously follow the baby boards.

This is where I first started learning about cloth diapering, so I post quite a bit about cloth diapers.  I ventured upon one of my favorite boards the other day "Baby Updates" and found that one of my fellow Momma Bees had a photo of her son in a Ragababe cloth diaper.  These diapers are at the very top of my "I'm dying to try" list.  They have all-in-one and all-in-two cloth diapers.  The problem is, they are moving their production center and only have diapers in stock twice a month until they get up and running.  So I'm stalking the website to find out when they will restock for late June, and I'm sure I'll be that crazy lady refreshing the page until I can add 1 or 2 diapers to my shopping bag....

This is all semi besides the point.  This woman messaged me and told me she'd be happy to send me her small all in one diaper her sister got her since her little one doesn't fit into the size very well.  I told her that would be awesome and in turn I would send her my rarely worn itti bitti tutto.  I got this diaper for free with a coupon purchase at Kelly's closet, my favorite diaper retailer, and I have recently found out that Kayla is sensitive to this diaper in particular since it has a suede lining on the inserts.  She's excited because she hasn't tried the itti bitti and I'm pumped to get a new free diaper!  Yippee, I love blogs!!

Thursday, June 23, 2011


My sister Megan recently talked about how hard it is to title your posts when you are a blogger, this is so true...let's hope this one lives up to that great big word! :)

Complacency: self-satisfaction especially when accompanied by unawareness of actual dangers or deficiencies

I think it's important not to feel complacent in your life.  The minute you start to get complacent, every second that follows is a wasted second, in my opinion.  This may be part of the reason I love to learn new things.  I truly believe that everyone should have goals in life that they are constantly trying to attain.  And they can really be anything: things you want to learn, creative outlets you want to explore, places you want to see, anything.

It may sound like work to you, but I think this is a great way to make sure you are filling every second of your life with, well, LIFE!  Otherwise, you are just living day to day, working so you can pay the rent.  And then one day, you realize you have spent a large portion of your days on this Earth just getting by, instead of breathing as much joy and happiness as you can into each minute.

So when my sister brought up this idea to me yesterday I knew I wanted to do it.  Because I'm starting to feel like I'm getting complacent in my life.  There are so many things I want to learn and experience and I don't want to wait any longer.  I want to do things and see places with my husband.  And most important to me now, I want to make sure that we are teaching our daughter that she should set goals and go for what makes her happy.  And not through just our words, but through our actions.  I want to teach her to ACTIVELY fill her life with joy, fun and adventure.  And I want to build memories with her that I can carry with me forever.

So here's what I'm doing (with my sisters and hopefully my husband will join in):  101 things in 1,001 days.  I made a list that you can see here, in the tab at the top of my blog, of goals I want to accomplish in the next 1,001 days (roughly 2.75 years).  This will begin July 1, 2011 and my end date is March 29, 2014.  Some are simple, some involve my personal goals, some are things I want to experience with my husband, some are traditions I want to establish with my daughter and future children, and some are ways to bring joy to complete strangers.  But most importantly, all of them will fill my life with joy and fun and adventure and I will be setting a good example for my daughter on how to live life to the fullest.

One of my goals is documenting each accomplishment through a blog post with photos (hopefully) so I'm looking forward to making my blog less SOLEY about Kayla and more about my life as a whole.  (But still mostly about her!)  You should join me!!  Leave a comment if you want to jump on board.  I can send you a link that will help you get started.  And if you choose to do it, please keep me updated on your fun adventures!!

Oh, and I forgot to tell you all about another milestone in my previous blog post.  Kayla is also getting pretty good and sitting with very little support.

5 months...

and a day (a day late, a dollar short!)

So yesterday was Kayla's 5 month birthday and I am a little late writing my monthly update.  Yesterday we drove to Virginia to have lunch with Aunt Meg and meet a few people in her office.  One of them hadn't met her when I brought her previously and really wanted to meet her.  I'm always bragging about how adaptable she is with new people holding her and being around people, etc.  Well, Kayla was on the floor when said woman came to meet her and she asked if she could pick her up.  I told her of course and that she is usually so good with people.  Well, yet again in her short life, she proved me wrong.  I'm not sure if it was that a bunch of people came in at once, or if this woman was a little, um, strong or her wild curly black hair, but whatever it was, Kayla screamed bloody murder.  Maybe she was just wet or tired, or maybe she's getting some attachment, who knows.

Anyways, I thought I'd make my monthly updates a little more organized by giving them some categories, so here is the first installment.

Weight: Not 100% sure, maybe somewhere between 14 and 15 pounds.  I should do the Brian Regan thing: "Step on the scale, weigh yourself, step off the scale, pick up the baby, step back on the scale, weigh yourself and the baby then subtract your weight from the weight of the baby and you..."  Anyone, Bueller?  For those of you that don't know, for your entertainment...

"I called them up, "Ya, I have ten boxes; can you come pick them up?" "We need to know the weight and the girth." "Okay, good-bye." So I called back. "We need the weight and the girth." "Okay, I don't know what the weight is, and um, I don't know what girth means... So now what's the procedure?" So this guy talks to me like I'm four years old. "Well do you have a bathroom scale?" "Uh, ya but if I put the box on the scale it's gonna cover up the NUMBERS!" What, do I take it off really quick? Ah, zero: I'm not fast enough. What's he talking about? So then he gives me his Mister Wizard Formula, "How about if you stand on the scale and weigh yourself and get off the scale. Pick up the box, get back on, weigh you and the box together, and subtract your own weight." I'm going, "Slow down. Hold on professor." I know this guys never tried this, because I tried it and you still can't see the NUMBERS! Then I had to hang up in the middle of his girth formula." 

Length:  Not sure, I'll have to measure her somehow too. :)

Sleep:  Kayla is still getting about 2 feedings in a 12 hour period at night.  I was frustrated with these continued night wakings, but I think I've just come to the conclusion that she is just a baby that needs to eat during the night.  She also doesn't nurse for very long at all during the day (usually about 4 or 5 minutes, more if I'm lucky) so I was thinking that might be part of it, but I can't force her to eat.  Hopefully as we gradually start more solid foods that will help keep her full.  Also, she's working on some milestones (see below) so that along with teething and continued thrush are probably not helping.  She is still taking 3 good naps during the day (the short napping stopped) but I think she's trying to slowly transition to 2.  My biggest struggle is trying to determine if I should continue to dream feed her because it doesn't seem to make too much difference.  I feed her twice no matter what.  If I dream feed, I wake her at 10-10:30 pm to feed her and then I try to feed her between 3-4 am (she usually wakes up once when we have to get her back to sleep).  If I don't dream feed her she will eat at around 1-2 am and then again around 4 or 5.  I just don't know what is "best" and I'm frustrated with that (advice anyone?)

Trying hard to crawl.

Milestones:  Kayla has sufficiently mastered the back to belly roll, she still struggles with belly to back but I think this is because she doesn't care to be on her back, she loves tummy time.  Which has led to our other two big goals.  1.) As of my trip to IL, she an army crawling fiend.  She is all over and I have to keep my eye on her at all times.  2.) Yesterday, she started getting up on all fours and rocking herself back and forth and lurching herself, my 5 month old is trying to crawl...what!?!  She is babbling a lot more although nothing very clear is coming out besides "gah, ooh, daah" etc.  She is awesome and grabbing and bringing everything to her mouth.

I may or may not add mommy milestones to this list because I think it's super important to remember to make time for yourself as well, it will make you a better mommy.  To this effect, stay tuned maybe later today for another post that I've been writing in my head since yesterday.

Monday, June 20, 2011

NMM 6/20/11

Here's this week's tidbit of wisdom from "Eat Your Peas:"

When the baby keeps you awake all night, remember you will have a lifetime to catch up on your sleep.
But you'll never have this night with your little one again.

I definitely have to remember this every night, and honestly, it does help me a lot.  Especially now that I realize how quickly they grow up.  I can't believe I have an almost 5 month old who is a few days away from her first tooth!!!

Also, I'm in love with Photoshop and all the great things it can do, so now I'm not afraid of how tired I look in photos because I can adjust it! :)

Sunday, June 19, 2011

I Loved Her First

"Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad." -- Anne Geddes

When Justin and I were engaged, I started to research some good Father-Daughter dance songs, even though I was pretty sure I knew what song my dad would want to dance to.  My senior year of high school, I got a bit more into country music and my new love rubbed off on my dad, who now listens to the country station in his car.  One of the more popular father-daughter dance songs now is the one that my dad wanted to dance to: "I Loved Her First" by Heartland.  I gave him five options including that one but when I told him this he said, "I already know what song I want to dance to."  And this was the song he choose before even hearing my other options.  (The funny part is when we actually went to dance he asked me, "So what song are we dancing to?" :) )

This song made me cry when I heard it before, but now it makes me cry for even more reasons. 

I was enough for her not long ago
I was her number one, she told me so
And she still means the world to me, just so you know
So be careful when you hold my girl

It makes me think of how much my dad has always meant to me.  I always felt close to him since I was sort of dubbed the "tomboy" of the three of us girls (even though we all played sports through college.)

But I loved her first, I held her first
And a place in my heart will always be hers
From the first breath she breathed
When she first smiled at me
I knew the love of a father runs deep

And I prayed that she'd find you someday
But it's still hard to give her away
I loved her first

It makes me so proud to have a dad who has worked so hard to give everything to his kids.  To think that someone can love you that much is amazing.

How could that beautiful woman with you
Be the same freckle faced kid that I knew
The one that I read all those fairy tales to
And tucked into bed all those nights

And to think about how my dad feels about my husband is also amazing, especially because I believe my family loves him almost as much as I do.

And I knew the first time I saw you with her
It was only a matter of time

And now, it hits me even harder because I think about Justin and our daughter.  And that one day, God willing, Justin will give our daughter away to someone that, hopefully, we love as much as my parents love Justin.

Someday you might know what I'm going through
When a miracle smiles up at you

I loved her first

I will never forget Kayla's birthday for many reasons.  It's hard to verbalize what you feel exactly when your baby is born.  I can honestly say that I felt incredible love at the same time as intense fear and anxiety.  But I think the most memorable part of that day will be the image of my husband first holding our daughter, staring down at her and crying.  I don't think I've ever seen Justin cry, and seeing physical evidence of his immediate love for her was overwhelming.

I have been so blessed to have my Dad in my life, and I was so lucky to find such an amazing Daddy in Justin.  And now, we get to understand the love our parents have for us through our daughter.

"We never know the love of our parents for us until we have become parents."

I also get to see my dad as a granddad, showering our daughter with all the love in the world.  Sometimes, I have to step back and remember how lucky I am when things get difficult.

I love you Dad and Justin, more than you will ever know.

"A father is a guy who has snapshots in his wallet where his money used to be."

My sharks :)

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Testing my "mommy ego"

As I mentioned previously, Kayla's napping has taken a significant downward turn.  Yesterday I had a glimpse of hope, however she is super fussy.  I spend much of my day looking at this...

I think fussy is an understatement.  She's screaming...a lot.  At me.  When I try to put her down for a nap.  Before eating.  After eating.  While changing her diaper.  When I put her on the floor to play.  To me, it seems like all the time, except when I'm holding her...and even sometimes then.  

I don't know if it's the thrush.  Or the teething.  Or still from her vacations.  Or she's bored of her toys.  Or she's mad she can't sit and walk like she wants to.  Or if she is tired (actually I know she is because naps suck.)  I don't know what is it but it feels horrible.

As a person who doesn't like when she can't make the people around her happy, I'll tell you as a mom feeling like you can make your child happy no matter what is the worst feeling in the world.  All I can do is just keep telling her "I'm sorry.  I can't stop the teeth from coming in and I'm doing everything I can for the thrush and I'm trying to get you to sleep so you can feel rested and I'm trying to change your position and cuddle with you so I know you feel loved."  But it doesn't feel like she does.

Vent over.

Friday, June 17, 2011

Sound Asleep

(On a side note, my last post was post #100...woot woot.  I have to admit, I love my blog.  I'm not the greatest writer or most creative person but I'm so glad I did this so I have a way to look back and remember!  And I'm thrilled that it strikes a cord with at least a few people. :) )

The definition of "sound asleep" (you didn't know there was one did you?...well there is always one of something on the internet!) is sleeping deeply.  I'm not sure I have ever known what this was like.  I get so frustrated at night because Justin is a sound sleeper...very sound.  And I think Kayla takes after me and is roused by little noises.  This combination leads to me being up at least 5-10 minutes before Justin is when Kayla cries in the middle of the night, which leads to me always being the one that is up to calm her or pick her up or change her.  I'd give anything for one night of "sound sleep."

I've been amazed at how little sleep I can function on and feel relatively well rested after since Kayla was born.  Granted, she also used to be a great sleeper for a newborn.  Well those days are gone in my almost 5 month old (what?!?).  However, I still feel ok in the mornings, especially if Kayla lets me sleep until 7 am.  Last week, when she was waking up every hour for a few nights in a row, was a different story.  It was the first time I felt like I was almost too tired to take care of I could hardly stay awake.  We are still really struggling with sleeping overnight and with napping now, which I'm attributing to teething and this thrush not seeming to go away.  We are back to napping only 30-40 minutes which I can do nothing about, no matter how hard I try.

I would say I'm hoping it's the teething and we will get past it, but I'm beginning to realize there really is no such thing as more than a few nights in a row of good sleep or a normal "schedule" because inevitably something will come up that will throw them off, between teething, learning a new skill, being sick, growth spurts and who knows what else.  The good news is, no matter how little sleep I get, waking up to this breathes a whole lot of life into me:

And for your viewing pleasure, here's a little video I took of Kayla yesterday.  (I took a few good ones so I'll post them randomly.  It's hard to catch her giggling since she is so interested in looking at my phone when I bring it out but oh well.)

Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Meeting Uncle Brendan!

Some of these photos are blurry because I was trying to figure out camera/lens

So I embarked on my first flight with an infant to head to Evanston, IL to visit with my parents and little brother.  Kayla had not yet met Uncle Brendan, she only "saw" him on Skype when she was like 1 month old.  I actually flew into Milwaukee because it was $100 cheaper and Aunt Lauren picked us up and Papa (my dad) dropped us off.
Waiting to board my first airplane!

My parents had literally bought almost everything we needed except for clothes and my pump.  They borrowed a car seat, bought a pack n play, an activity mat, a stroller, bibs, towels, washcloths, burp rags (as you know I usually need a bunch of these), bowls, spoons and all the toiletries Kayla needed.  All I had to bring was clothes for her and me, my toiletries, my pump and her medicine.  This sounds glorious (and it was) however, I am possibly the worst over packer ever and I had like 3x as many clothes as either of us would need.  I guess I figured I had the extra room...
I slept during my first takeoff.

The flight to MKE wasn't too bad.  Justin dropped us off very early (before Kayla's normal wake up time) at the airport.  He helped me carry bags and check in.  The hardest part by far was getting through security.  Not to self (and any other new moms): don't bother packing a carry on for yourself with things to do or things you think you "need" to don't.  Literally, all I really needed on the plane was diapers, wipes, a change of clothes in case and my "hooter hider" so I could feed Kayla.  Oh and her binky since sucking is supposed to help equalize pressure in their little ears.  Along with these items, I also had: my camera bag (huge and heavy), my computer (huge and heavy but I wanted to play with my new Photoshop CS5 my mom got for me), books (mine and Kayla's...pointless) and toys.  The toys do turn out to be a bit helpful.

Don't worry, I spent the rest of the flight flashing my pearly whites...err...gums at other riders :)

The flight was a bit bumpy.  Anyone that knows me knows I'm not a great flyer.  I really dislike it and I get a lot of anxiety.  I had been up since 2 am even though Kayla wasn't for fear of flying and flying with an infant.  Kayla was great.  She slept for about 1/3 of the time and the rest of the time was so interested in everything going on around her and was way to busy smiling and hamming it up for the people around me to even bother thinking about crying.  We landed and Aunt Lauren helped us get our things in the car and it was off to Evanston.
I love being the center of attention

"Are you talking about me?"

The weekend ended up being a lot more eventful than I expected.  I hadn't told any extended family we were going to be there (not intentionally, just didn't), however, my parents did.  My Nanny and Gramps came by Saturday afternoon after we arrived.  Nanny was going to sleep over for a couple nights to spend some time with us.  Then Sunday morning, my Grammy, Papa and Aunt MEM came down to visit for a bit from Milwaukee, followed Sunday afternoon by my Aunt Lindy and cousin Kelsey (who were sleeping over).  So we had a busy weekend of family fun.

After the first weekend, everything was kinda like normal for me and Kayla, just with a few other people to entertain us: my brother, my mom for half the time, and my dad when he wasn't at work.  We took a lot of walks (when it wasn't either hot as **** or raining it's *** off), which ended up being about 3 days worth of walks.  My mom and I went shopping with Kayla where she totally spoiled her! :)  I tried to learn Photoshop while Kayla napped and her Gigi, Papa and Uncle Brendan played with her.  We played cards (a usual O'Neil family activity), laughed, lounged and generally had a great time.
On a walk to Lake Michigan


  • Sleep: Kayla started out sleeping like normal- two long naps and one shorter one and sleeping until 4 or 5 am with a dream feed at 10-11 pm.  Her wake up time was quite a bit earlier (5 am) which was HORRIBLE for me but what can you do.  And after a couple days, I decided I didn't want to do the dream feed anymore because I didn't want to teach her to wake up at 10 every night.  After that, along with teething, seriously learning to scoot, thrush, and just being too excited about everything around her, sleeping went downhill.  The last couple days there, she wouldn't nap longer than about 1 hr 15 min and sleeping overnight was terrible.  She would wake up at around 10 and I would soothe her back to sleep then up again around 1 or 2 to eat and after that, she would wake up on the hour, ever hour until morning.  This was by far the worst and most tired I have felt since she was born.  Luckily, since we've returned home, she is doing a little bit more like normal (although the middle of the day nap seems to be shortening...not sure why).
  • Eating:  Kayla still wouldn't take ready made formula.  My mom thought it was funny how she gagged it up.  No one believed me but she seriously gags.  So by the end of the week, I gave her a bottle with 25% ready made formula and 75% breast milk.  I basically had to force her to take it but she did.  Since then, we've increased the ratio of formula:breastmilk and she seems to actually like it now.  I even mixed a small amount of formula with the rice cereal last night and she didn't seem to mind (although her poop today is quite a bit more solid...TMI but I'm not sure why.)
  • Milestones:  Kayla seriously scooted ALL over my parents living room all week.  She's not quite as active here (maybe it's the floor, who knows, or maybe Mommy is boring). It's like in a day or two she went from struggling with rolling to scooting all over the place...including off the bed!)  Also, Kayla had her first time on a swing.  She LOVED every second of it and I got a great video I will post when I get around to it.
  • Teething:  She is definitely getting a tooth.  I didn't know when I would know this, but I can see it and feel it in her gums and she's super fussy recently so I'm trying to go with the flow and comfort her while she's upset.  I have to admit, I really loved the rarely experienced cuddling time with my little girl on the plane rides and a couple times in the morning when I wanted her to go back to sleep for an hour or so.  I miss that cuddly baby!! :)
My first time in a swing
I like this gum massager

The flight back was a lot more eventful.  My dad and I got to the airport with about an hour and half to my flight time.  There was a long, long, long line at AirTran and not enough people working.  My dad was kinda irritated and tried to ask someone about it and to make a long story short...Kayla started to get angry (she needed a diaper change and doesn't like standing still) so I just figured, screw it, and walked myself right up to the kiosk to check myself in.  My checked bag was 56# but there was absolutely no way that lady was making us pay after my dad made a stink and my daughter was screaming in her face!  After that, everything was fine.  The flight was much smoother, but there were a lot of babies and they were all crying and talking and screaming, however, Kayla was pretty calm.  She cried a couple times for a few seconds because she was really tired (it was bedtime), but she slept for about 30 minutes and again was a ham for everyone around her.  The lady across from me with an 11 month old boy said, she's so calm, I'm jealous...since her son screamed for much of the flight.  I felt bad because he just wanted to crawl around.  Poor little boy's mommy couldn't make him stop, but she tried her darnedest.  

It's nice to be home and I'm definitely not afraid of flying with Kayla anymore, although still afraid of flying in general! :)

I love these last two photos!  Her faces kill me, and her little lips...sigh.  All photos are pre photoshop editing.  I'll make a post with before and afters when I figure it all out! 

Monday, June 13, 2011

NMM 6/13/11

Here's this week's edition of New Mom Mondays:

May your day be filled with hugs and giggles and silly things only a mother could love.

I know you moms know about all those silly things you relish in that your baby does.  And seriously, the giggles, I would do anything to get those from Kayla!  I'm pretty sure Kayla has the best laugh, but I think she's the best at everything! :)  And I sure do love waking up to this every morning...

Sorry it's so blurry, but she's very active and I can't control the shutter speed on my iPhone ;)

Stay tuned later this week for my 100th post!!  It will mostly likely be a recap of my week in Illinois.  I have to upload some photos.  I'll probably post them pre-photoshop editing so I have some time to learn!

Saturday, June 11, 2011


There are a million and one reasons why I love my mom.  Way too many to list here, but I honestly believe that if everyone had a mom like mine, the world would be a better place.  She is the perfect balance of advice when you need it and staying out of your business until you ask.  She never complains about my constantly bothering her with my unwarranted new mom worries.  She just calmly tries to help me find solutions or reassures me that things are ok.  (I'm hoping she learned this amazing patience from her kids, because I'm pretty sure Kayla is teaching me.)  She's like the best best friend you could ask for while at the same time being the best mom.  I'm pretty sure she learned all this from her mom, my Nanny, because Nanny is exactly the same way.

You will recall my mentioning how having a baby make you feel slightly insignificant to everyone around you.  Well this week, I've learned yet another reason my mom is awesome.  Because even when everyone is ooh-ing and aah-ing over my baby, my mom still makes me feel like I'm hers (her baby that is).  Even though I came to show off her first grandchild, she still makes me feel like I'm important to her as well.  By no means does this imply she loves Kayla any less than anyone else.  It just implies that I still hold a piece of her heart and she has room in it for my daughter as well.  And I have no doubt in my mind that my Nanny made my mom feel this way too.

I'm so lucky to have the family I do, and I can only hope that when Kayla grows up, she learns to appreciate her grandparents like I do and feels lucky to have known so many of her great grandparents.  And I sincerely hope that I make her feel the way my mom makes me feel when she has children of her own.  I pray she will always, not only know, but feel how special she is to me.

I hate this picture of me because I look really tired, which I am due to Kayla not sleeping so great, but I'll get into that in my next post...a Recap of our Trip.

Long days...

16+ hour days + no more than 3 hours of consolidated sleep + waking up every hour = extremely long days.

If you are one of those people that needs that alarm clock that rolls around on the floor so you have to get out of bed to shut it off, I give you this suggestion...have a baby.  No?  You are right, they do come with a lot of other crap.

That is all.

Monday, June 6, 2011

New Mom Mondays 6/6/11

I think I'm going to start a new Monday blog post ritual.  My Nanny purchased a little book for me from the place she works in Glen Ellyn, IL.  She told me that she thought of me when she saw it and after she read it, she really felt like it was something I could have written, or something I already have written on my blog.  The book is called Eat Your Peas for New Moms: A little wisdom. And a lasting promise.  

Now, by no means at all do I think I am an expert, considering I've only been a mom for 4.5 months.  However, I feel like I've gone through a lot of things in these months, and I'm one of those people that analyzes everything, so every once in a while I think I have something profound to say.  :)  So every Monday, I will try my hardest to impart on my awesome readers a little piece of information that I have learned or come across regarding being a new mom.

Without further ado, I give you "New Mom Mondays!"

The book starts out like this (before giving you little tidbits of wisdom):

Congratulations!  Life as you know it is about to change forever.  And for the better!

Will it be easy?  Not on your life.  But it will be wonderful.  Exhilarating.  Exhausting.  Sometimes scary.  And always surprising.  Which brings me to the reason for this little book.

With all this newness in your life, you are not alone.  I promise.  Want to talk?  Here's my number (in case fatigue affects your memory.)  Call me!  (Ok so I'm not gonna post my phone number here, but the idea behind this page applies to all of you from me.  Send me an email, shoot me a comment, or a message on facebook.  I am always willing to listen and talk and give you any advice I have come across or read about or heard.  I am not embarrassed by much and I'd love to lend a VERY sympathetic ear!)

If you ever want to brag a little (or a lot), if you ever need a good laugh, or a good cry, or just some good old adult conversation Call me!  (or write to me)

I promise to listen (really listen) with all my heart.  What's more, I promise I won't get carried away with free advice (unless of course you really, really want some.)

In the meantime, here's a little homegrown wisdom to go with the wonder of your new little sweet pea...

New Mom Monday 6/6/11:

Your baby is so lucky to be loved by you.

This is so very true.  He/she is lucky to have you, as is everyone else in your life.  Don't ever forget this! And don't ever forget, you may not be the perfect mom, but you are the perfect mom for your little peanut!

Sunday, June 5, 2011


There is something totally awesome about watching your husband with your yesterday.  Kayla and I had to get up early to head to the airport for our trip to Chicago to visit my family.  I fed her when she woke up at about 4 or so and after I fed her she fell asleep on our bed.  I decided it was ok to cuddle with her for an hour or so before we had to leave.  I gently scooted her a little closer to her dad, and what followed, I really wish I had a picture of.  Justin, half asleep put his arm over Kayla's teeny body (she was lying on her left side, as was he) like he was spooning her, his hand flat on the bed.  She, also half asleep, sort of settled right into her dad and then gently placed her right hand flat, right on top of Justin's.  I would give anything to have a picture of that scene!

There is also something almost equally as awesome about seeing the people you love (your family and friends) interact with and love your daughter.  It's obvious that Justin and I love her, and I just assume everyone else does as well.  My parents are totally doting over their first grandchild, and my sisters can't get enough.  My brother had a slightly different situation.  He hadn't gotten to meet Kayla until this weekend.  He talked to her on skype when she was little, but he was in California over the winter.  He is the youngest of four and the only boy, and I've been wondering how he would be with Kayla.  When we got here yesterday he immediately emerged from the bedroom and took her from Lauren, which was awesome to see.  Since then, there has been a lot of activity, but today, the magic happened! :)

My dad and my Nanny went to church when Lauren and I returned from a walk with Kayla and Layla.  Lauren was in the shower and my mom went to change Kayla in the living room where Brendan was.  After she finished, she and I started to get some things together to give Kayla a bath, leaving Kayla on the floor in the living room with Brendan alone.  It only took about 2 seconds for Brendan to pick her right up off the floor and talk to her.  Then he put her down and started making funny faces and noises at her and she was just giggling...  I guess I just expected my sisters (probably because they are women) to just adore my baby, but seeing my little brother adore her is extra special!

I just love seeing the people dear to me love my daughter.  Sort of like my favorite blogger talked about here.

As she so eloquently put it.."Can I get an "amen" for how good it feels to watch your friends love your babies? These kids are my heart and when you love them, you consequently just found yourself a deeper place in my own heart. Likewise, to let my friends know I love them...sometimes loving their kids is the best place to start." -Kelle Hampton

Friday, June 3, 2011

We (Read I) Survived.

Kayla and mommy (but really mostly mommy) survived our first accident.

Kayla has been rolling for a few weeks now, but just recently, maybe the last week or two, she has started scooting around on her belly.  She seriously loves tummy time and can tolerate being on her stomach for long periods.  Well this morning, she woke as she usually does talking to herself and her "Lambie" in the pack 'n play and straining to get out that big morning poop.  I was exhausted but decided I could probably take advantage of her being awake and happy and get in a few minutes of packing for our trip.  I picked her up and put her and Lambie on a towel in the dead center of our queen size bed.  She lay there and rolled a few times while I packed our bag to check on the bed right next to her.

When I was mostly packed, as much as I could be, I decided I could move the bag out of our room so that I could continue to pack while Kayla napped.  I grabbed the bag and rushed down the 7 stairs to place the bag in a spare room (I am usually rushing if I leave Kayla on her own to make the time I don't have my eyes on her as minimal as possible).  When I rushed up the stairs two at a time to get back, Kayla had clearly scooted herself to the edge of the bed.

As I ran walked through the doorway, she was mid fall.  Yes, I left my daughter for ten seconds and she flipped herself off the edge of the bed.  I have been replaying the scene in my head all day and here's what happened next...

Mommy: "Oh My God..Oh My God..Oh My God..Oh My God..Oh My God..." and on and on as I ran to her side and swiped her off my LuLuLemon bag (which she landed on) almost immediately as she hit the floor.  I literally don't think she was on the ground for more then .00001 seconds.  I hugged her and cuddled her while she cried.  Actually, she didn't even scream...just cried, some of those real tears that I hate, for about 1-2 minutes.  These couple minutes pretty much felt like an hour to me while I kept saying, "Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry Kayla.  I'm the worst mom!  I'm so sorry!" Over, and over, and over, while I kissed her and hugged her and rubbed her back.

I was mostly worried that, although she pretty much somersaulted and landed on her back, that she was have some sort of brain injury from hitting her head falling off a queen size pillow top mattress (the PT in me I guess).  So I spent the rest of the morning scrutinizing every single thing she did to try to determine if she was acting abnormally.  She seemed totally fine with the whole situation.  I, however, am scarred for life.  She's my little champion.  And Justin so kindly told me that the "worst mom in the world" wouldn't have cried or picked her up, she would have just let her lay there on the floor and cry.  He's probably right, but if there is a mother that would do this out there, I don't want to meet her!