I know, I know, but like I said, I've been pretty crabby lately and I need to vent. And if I can't do it on my personal blog, where can I do it? And if you don't like it, that's ok, I respect your opinion and you can go right ahead and stop reading.
When I was pregnant, I remember telling Justin how glad I was that we finally had a reason to make our friends and family come to visit us, instead of us always doing the footwork. Boy, it seems that I was wrong. I feel like all I've been doing for the past 7 months is packing or unpacking from a trip with our baby. How is this fair?
When I first started really thinking about it this week, it made me pretty angry. Now that I've had more time to digest, it really just makes me sad. Before, we (Justin and I) weren't important enough for people to come see us, but now Kayla isn't even important enough. Thinking about it makes me want to cry. I want to show Kayla off to everyone because I just think she's the bees knees, but I'm kinda tired of doing all the work. And it's taking its toll on us. I blame this partially for our sleeping difficulties. How can Kayla get into a routine of any sort when I'm constantly shoving her into a new environment and asking her to sleep at least as well as she does at home. It's not fair to her at all.
I can't wait to get settled on our own, when I will finally be able to start really enforcing my rules for myself and our little family:
- If you want to see your daughter/son/granddaughter/niece/brother/sister/friend you can get
your assin a car and come see us. I'm done traveling so much with her. (This may seem harsh but if I've learned one thing as a mom, it's that I don't care what anyone else thinks when it comes to the health/happiness of my daughter.)
- Mommy is joining and gym and possibly getting a personal trainer and going to said gym at least 3 times a week. (Clearly, said gym might need to have a little child care area.)
- Mommy is finding and joining a moms group so she has some interaction with people besides a 7 month old.
- Kayla will be in her very own room that is quiet and dark and peaceful so she can finally feel comfortable sleeping.
- Mommy will learn to cook and make dinner at least once a week (to start.)
- Once a weekend, we will have "family time." (Nothing big necessarily, just a set time to just BE together.)
- Mommy is going to make a much better effort to talk with her family and friends more regularly.
For now, that's all I can think of. I realize some of my recent posts may upset people, and I'm sorry, but I'm really not trying to discretely point anyone out, I'm just speaking about our lives in general. Part of it may be that pesky post-partum depression popping up again, but I'm ready to get our life back to semi-normal and figure out a way to make myself happy as a wife AND mommy now.