Tuesday, September 28, 2010

New Pregnancy Symptom??

I'll get to my new pregnancy symptom in a minute, I just wanted to give you all a quick review of my week/weekend since I haven't written in a while.

Last Friday I had a 4-week doctor's appointment.  Went through the normal routine, pee, weight, BP, listen to the heartbeat, have the doctor tell me it's "perfect."  It was all good, and the newest doctor I have met was very nice and helpful in answering all of my questions.  The cramping I'm getting is pretty normal, but I should be aware if the cramping is in normal intervals and lasts for longer than an hour.  I also talked to her a little bit about birthing classes and wanting to have a natural childbirth.  She suggested hypnobirthing method, I'm still trying to talk to Justin about what we might want to do.  I guess I was more on top of these sorts of things than normal because the doctor kept saying, you don't usually have to worry about these things for a few more weeks.  At least I'm thinking about it.

Aunt Meg's best friend, Amanda was in town starting Saturday night so we've been doing a lot of things with them.  We met them for sushi on Saturday night (late dinner); I went to the American History Museum and dinner with them on Sunday; Justin and Megan played volleyball yesterday and then we got dinner at Sweetwater (best chicken fingers EVER!); and today they stopped by our place and we went to the Lost Dog Cafe.  It was really nice to see her and spend some time with them together, but I'm tired!!

Speaking of being tired, I'm already having a hard time sleeping with having to pee and trying to find a comfortable position, but for the past 4 nights in a row, I've been having nightmares.  I'm pretty sure this isn't a normal symptom of pregnancy.  Not only am I having nightmares, but they are TOTALLY random.  They have nothing to do with Baby, and rarely is there any friends or family in them.  And they have absolutely nothing to do with one another.  I'm not watching anything scary on TV and I haven't eaten anything funny.  It's so weird and if they don't stop soon, I'm totally going to be prepared for a baby because I haven't gotten much sleep at all.  If anyone has any great ideas on how to get these to stop, I'd really, really appreciate it!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010


I had a meltdown last night.  I'm starting to get seriously stressed about financial issues and overwhelmed with the thoughts of trying to make plans for another human being.  Justin seems so calm about everything, but I guess those are our roles:  me - the worrier, Justin - go with the flow.

The good news is I'm getting seriously excited to be a mom.  I'm scared, but mostly excited.  And, as of today, we had to put our ballroom dancing program on hold.  It hasn't been the same for us since we found out we were expanding our family and it's so expensive, we need to be saving that money for the future.  They were very understanding at Arthur Murray but Justin and I are just kinda sad about it and feel bad and like we are letting them down.

I guess step number one to becoming a parent has been checked off the list: Learn to make sacrifices for your children.  Thanks Mom and Dad for all the sacrifices I'm sure you made for us.  It's always meant a lot to me, but I guess it's beginning to hit home a little more now.  I love you.  (P.S. Dave and Jill, I'm guessing Justin feels the same way but I can't speak for him! ;)

I am feeling a lot better this week than last week, still a little sad and crabby but nothing like last week.  I'm not sure if I shared this story, but let me tell you a little about how my worst week of pregnancy ended last week:

We went up to Laurel to dog sit for Samson.  When we got there on Friday he was very excited to see us and seemed like he was almost yelling at us when we got there: "Where have you been?  Why did you leave me?  You better not go anywhere!  Where is my mom? Can we go for a walk?  I really have to pee?"  Well, I got ready to take him for his evening walk and Justin was going to take the car to get some food.  I think I did a pretty good job last week of trying hard to not act irritable around Justin, because he really didn't deserve it at all, but it all went down the tubes that fateful Friday night.

As we were leaving the house, I had Samson on his leash in my left hand, my left knee holding open the screen door and locking the door with my right hand.  Samson must have been trying to keep up with Justin who was heading to the car because he tugged me just the littlest bit, and I twisted just a smidge to the left.  Needless to say, this lead to my knee slipping from the door and the HEAVY door (which seems to be on super duper strong springy springs) slammed me directly in the forehead.

It hurt...bad!  I yelled ouch a few times and started to tear up.  I was trying to just compose myself and Justin goes, "What? What? What? What? What? What?"  Literally.  I'm not kidding.  Six times in like a ten second span.  I didn't even have time to answer if I wanted to.  I lost it and screamed at him that the effing door hit me in the face and can you just give me a minute to get myself together and stop asking me what?  (It was a lot stronger and harsher than that.)  I know he was just concerned but the 6 whats just pushed me over the edge.  I told him I was still standing and wasn't dying so if he could just give me a minute that would be great!  I'm glad that week is over.  Sorry, baby, I shouldn't have blown up at you.

I hope everyone's weeks are going well!! I'm trying to get Dad to write another blog...he wants to post a picture of his new beard so maybe look for that.  P.S. I don't really like kissing a bearded man.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

5 Months!

Sorry I haven't blogged in a week.  I was having a pretty difficult week emotionally.  There was really no reason for this at all, I was just really irritable.  Things started to look up after yoga last Thursday, then we went to stay in Laurel, MD to dog sit my nephew, Samson.  I had yoga again today and my back is feeling a little bit better so I think this week is definitely looking better than last.

While I was lying in bed with Samson yesterday, I started thinking about how quickly this whole pregnancy thing is going.  I'm trying to savor every moment, but the days seem to be flying by.  Yesterday was the 18th, which would make it exactly 5 months along.  I feel like I should be doing more nesting and planning for a baby but I'm not.  I find myself trying to plan for our first anniversary weekend coming up next month, which I think it ok.  I don't want to forget about our relationship just because we are starting a family.  We bought tickets to go see OVO, the cirque de soleil show at National Harbor on October 9th, which I'm pretty excited about.  And I think Justin is also excited because his co-worker told him what a great show it was, so great that she is going to see it again.  Then on Sunday, our actual anniversary, we are going to stroll around Annapolis, because that's what Justin wants to do.  Something for me (food and OVO) and something for him.  I can't wait to look back on our first, needless to say eventful, year together.  And I really can't wait until Monday October 11th, to lay in bed and watch movies all day with my husband.

I kinda lost track of my journal entries but here is the Month 5 journal:

1. You know you're still in mind, body and spirit, even though your body is doing a change-up.  Think of your fashion MO and how you can maintain your joy for color and style even with the bump.

Trying to stay looking and feeling pretty has been quite the challenge for me.  I have had the most success at Gap Maternity.  Normally, I hate the Gap - boring colors, nothing special, but I actually like that about their maternity because I can still wear all my cute cardigans (old and new) over them with some fun jewelry or, my favorite accessory, scarves!  I'm pretty pumped about the fall weather so I can get back to all my sweaters (or at least the ones that might still work for me.)

2. Take a picture of yourself in your best pregnant fashion and post it here.

To be continued later when I actually take some pictures in my pregnant fashion!  I have an outfit planned for a friend's birthday party in a few weeks.  I'll try to be better about posting pictures!

3. Hey, what was that?  Record the kicks of your baby- where, when, how hard?

I think I've sort of already covered this but the very first "swirling" motions I felt were around 18 weeks in the morning before getting ready to go to work.  I started feeling some more clear kicks, especially the night of our half-way ultrasound, at the end of August (19.5 weeks).  The exciting thing for me this weekend was I started to feel a lot more like the baby is flipping and turning rather than just kicking.  I love noting all the new sensations I feel, sometimes it makes me laugh.

4. What baby names do you like today?

I learned my lesson about this about a month or so ago, I'm no longer asking anyone's opinion but my husband and our closest family, because, no offense, but I don't really care what anyone else thinks about names I like for OUR child. :)  We are going to try to pick out about 2 or 3 boys and girls names because we both feel like we can't rightly name someone before we meet them!

5. What suggested baby name have you heard?

My boss, Kate, throws out the most odd names- Hortense, Horatio are her favorites.  A patient gave me Sloan the other day, but I'm not a fan...I kinda sounds like a Husky's name to me.  Other than that, most of the time, people oddly suggest their own names!

Sunday, September 12, 2010


Holy cow am I crabby.  I really can't help it, I just feel bad about myself.  So first I'm going to vent, and then I'm going to make a list of the things that make me feel happy.


My back is absolutely killing me.  As many of you may know, I hurt my back my freshman year of college lifting heavy weights and ever since then (about 8 years ago) I've been battling a condition that really sucks with therapy, doctors, chiropractors, shots, etc.  I knew it was going to be bad when I got pregnant but it feels like it did the day I did it, and it hasn't felt this bad since then.  Sarah, God bless her, tries really hard in every yoga class to help me out but it seems I'm just going to have to deal with it.

I feel so unattractive it's not even funny.  Whoever says I have a "pregnancy glow" is lying.  I feel like crap, and I feel like I look like crap, all the time, no matter what.  The only thing I can try to do to solve this is go shopping (which is something I really shouldn't be doing but it makes me feel better...usually.)  But now, it doesn't help, because I can't find anything I like and I end up buying jewelry or socks because it's the only thing that fits.

The smallest things are significantly irritating me, and therefore, I have begun to dread going to work because there are just a couple of patients that I just can't deal with for an hour at a time.  For the large majority, my patients are wonderful and usually make me feel better, but those couple can really ruin your day.

I'm constantly hungry, but never really feel like eating anything in particular.  Come on pregnancy cravings, where are you?

Did I mention my back is killing me and making me want to cry?????

Things that make me happy:

Prenatal yoga: specifically the prenatal yoga music mix we listen to that is full of songs about empowerment.  My favorite is Wade Morissette (brother of Alanis) "Strong as Diamonds"

Walking around

My husband cleaning the apartment while I shop (even if then I come home to a whole load of crap to dispose of or put away)

Ice cream

Fall weather (this really should be higher up on the list)

My sisters and mom (and really my whole family - seeing my dad this weekend, even if only for lunch, was wonderful)

Friends and strangers telling me I look great even if I don't feel like it

My baby kicking me




It seems that there are certainly a lot more positives than negatives, I just needed my blog as an outlet to vent and remind myself of all the wonderful things in my life.  I'm posting lyrics to my favorite prenatal yoga song and I'm walking to Baskin Robins to get myself ice cream later, even if my husband sits on his butt watching football and I have to go alone.

Strong as Diamonds
(© 2006 w.morissette)

Om Vajra Kaya Namaha

To be as strong as diamonds

To be as strong as the wind

Take my hand and jump

Take my hand and leap

Take my hand and fly high

Take my hand and go now

Time is on my side

My own heart I abide

Sanskrit translation: To be as strong as diamonds

"Sometimes we must access our pure strength to overcome and triumph."

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Dad's first post...

So I'm going to be a dad. Lot's of things have been going through my mind recently: names, finances, sleep (anyone who knows me knows how much I love to sleep and how lazy I can be - not anymore!), and most importantly the health of the two most important people in my life - my wife and my baby.

Names - we kinda have a name picked out if it's a boy. For some reason we haven't really spent much time on girl's names. I'm beginning to think we shouldn't have to name this child until we know what he or she is like. If you give it a name that doesn't match their personality, how is it going to navigate through life?

Finances - I'm in this kind of stuff for my profession, and I know what to tell people to do, but it's hard to take that advice and apply it to yourself. From diapers to daycare, this baby is going to have to have things to live and it's up to us to support it. I'm excited to have a kid of my own, but the thought of someone being 100% reliable on me to survive is life altering.

Sleep - I love to sleep. On the couch, on the floor, and if I'm bored, sleep is something that I enjoy. Probably slept a little bit too much in college, but that's for another time... I hope that I can get enough sleep to function and not be a cranky slob at work and at home. I also hope that my baby loves to sleep as much as I do so we can nap when I'm not at work.

Health - Nothing is more important to me than the health of my baby and my wife. So far so good. A lot of people have asked me what I want to have, and I always reply "10 fingers and 10 toes". Gender doesn't matter, neither does size, hair color, eye color or when it comes. Just healthy - that's it.

I am excited to see what the next few months will bring. I am excited to see what Melissa and I have created. Most of all, I'm excited to be a parent.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Labor Day Weekend- Milwaukee, WI

So we head out to Milwaukee to visit my the Markowski side of my family for labor day weekend/our last weekend of traveling until we have a baby probably!

Our flight out was on Thursday night.  For the most part, the flight was ok except for two things: 1.) on the take-off, the pilot decided he wanted to see how quickly he could get back to level after making a sharp right-handed turn causing my stomach to fly into my throat and 2.) the pilot informed us we would be landing shortly and there were thunderstorms in the area (read felt like we were flying into a black hole and holy rocking the boat on the landing and me seriously thinking we were going to die.)  But we got there, and Aunt Lauren and cousin Layla picked us up, we watched some t.v. and went to bed.

The rest of the weekend is a blur of family fun time and some moderate amounts of chaos, which is expected with a big family.  I was really glad I got to see my parents at least for a few hours.  Here are some highlights of our trip:
  • Real Chili
  • Catchphrase
  • Lawn golf and bocci ball
  • Pictionary
  • Grammy's delicious desserts including apple cake, jimmy cake and eclair torts
  • Cheese curds
  • Mini Golf and batting cages
  • Testing out Justin's new camcorder
  • Trying to get everyone to feel the baby move (even though Mom didn't get to feel it :( ) and Uncle Brendan saying "That's it???" upon feeling the kicking
  • Spending time with my awesome family, no matter how little time

Despite a Hokie disappointing loss on Labor Day, I had a great weekend.  And I'm not even mad that I'm exhausted.  I got pretty emotional at the airport because I'm really upset about probably not seeing much of my family this upcoming holiday season (which is the main reason I love the holidays.)  Here are some photos from our weekend get-a-way.  Also, check out the belly shots because I'm pretty sure I am growing a lot now, my boss even said I looked much bigger today at work than last week.

P.S. Grammy Markowski is 100% sure it's a boy, and my mom is keeping her opinion a big secret:)