I know, I'm too lazy to blog...

...or maybe it's that I'm way too tired!  I only have 9 days until my due date and it's becoming very real to me.  Actually, maybe the problem is it STILL doesn't seem real, and therefore my head is saying "this is scary" and my heart is saying "I can't wait to be a mom!"  Well, here's a little update since my last post.

We had our 38 week midwife appointment last Tuesday, where we met another midwife who actually delivers babies!  She told me I was about the same dilation/effacement wise as last week, but that she didn't really expect that to change much until I went into labor.  She also told me to go get/take some evening of primrose to help progress things along and avoid going to much over the due date.  Like she had to twist my arm...

Justin and I spent NYE with my sister, Megan.  It was extremely low-key but nice to be with two very important people and one very important dog in my life!  We had dinner at one of those hibachi grill places and I had a glass of wine, and couldn't help but feel like I had to explain that the doctor's said it was ok to all the people sitting with us at our table!

Pregnancy signs/symptoms that have decided to wait until my last two weeks to make their unwelcome debut:

• Carpal Tunnel/hand pain
• Extreme ankle swelling (especially after this weekend - see below)
• Feeling a little cranky, uncomfortable and just plain old "blah"
• The return of nausea

This weekend, my aunt and, well basically other aunt, MEM and Terri were in the DC area.  Terri coaches the Marquette Women's Basketball team and my aunt MEM travels with them occasionally.  Marquette played Georgetown on Saturday afternoon.  On Friday, we had dinner in Georgetown with the team and rode around on their charter bus to see some of the gorgeous DC sites at night (the Korean War Memorial is creepy at night.)  On Saturday, we took MEM to breakfast at the Original Pancake House and then went to watch the women play great against the #15 GU team and pull off a great win in 2 OT.  Terri apologized for making it a little more stressful than desired for me, but I thought it was a great and fun game to watch.

Only negative from weekend: sitting/standing without doing much moving = Melissa's newfound cankles...very uncool.  At least they go down when I elevate my legs.  I'll try to post again on Tuesday after our hospital tour and 39 week appointment.  Until then, I'll leave you with this.

I'm scared/nervous/worried about this impending baby.  Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited too but this odd unsettled sensation has began to sweep over me the past week or so.  It's not that I don't think I can do it - anyone that knows me knows if I put my mind to something, it's going to get done.  It's not that I don't think I'll be a good mom - I have a really great role model.  I can't really describe it, I just am scared because I don't feel ready.  I still feel young and like a newlywed and I'm just not sure how ready I am, but not like I have a choice.  My solution is to tell my husband how I feel and lean on him, because I think he's pretty darn great, and to focus on how excited I am for this whole new, exciting experience in my life.

Until next time, or until baby...