Friday, July 19, 2013

On Having 2...

So remember like a year ago when I wrote this post about how I really felt about pregnancy #2?  Well, I do, and I got a few responses to that post from male and female friends alike.  As I was editing some photos of my kiddos together the other day, I started thinking about this list of worries I had back then.  I thought it would be an interesting post if I took those worries and responded to them now, in my all knowing mom of 2 state (not.)  But anyways, I digress.

Here's the original list of worries with my current thoughts in bold following the original bullet point.


  • I have to go through 9-10 months of getting fat and all those annoying pregnancy symptoms again (for me, this was more about getting fat, when I never really felt I got back into shape to begin with, since I actually loved being pregnant with Kayla.) 

  • I did get fat....boy did I EVER get fat.  I mean, you do recall Brody was almost 10 pounds right?  Well the excellent news is I was able to lose all that weight plus some and I am currently almost back to the weight I was in college and haven't really been since then.  This fear was founded...but silly nonetheless.

  • If this baby is overdue too I think I might die.

  • He was overdue.  I didn't die.  Great news. :)

  • Don't think for a second I forgot about the pain of labor.

  • Labor with Brody was SOOOO different that Kayla.  I can honestly say I didn't really have much pain with contractions at all until Linda broke my water.  And then pain was only for about an hour.  But I still won't forget about that.

  • This time, try being huge and hot through the summer while you are at it.

  • Oh boy was it EVER hot and humid last summer.  I think I could have managed being pregnant this summer.  I still lived. :)
  • Remember all that post partum bleeding...oh yay!

  • Significantly better this time around.  About half as long, however post labor contractions while breastfeeding the second time around = SOOO much worse.

  • There were all those breast feeding problems too (throwing up blood twice, the pain)

  • Breast feeding has been a breeze and mostly completely enjoyable with Brody.  I was going to write a post about it soon, but I actually think I might partially continue after he turns 1!

  • Don't forget the post partum depression, which when you have it one time, it becomes very scary that it will happen again.  And Lord knows you don't want to have all the regrets you had last time.

  • I felt great for about 3-4 months after Brody was born.  I do think the PPD started creeping up a bit when he wasn't sleeping well and then neither was Kayla and then we moved and switched their day care.  In short, it was hell.  But we made it through and I feel like I passed this test with flying colors.

  • These kids are NOT going to sleep/nap at the same times.  I am never going to sleep.  Will Kayla still sleep through the night or is everything in her head going to be completely messed up?  Do you KNOW how long it took to get Kayla to sleep through the night??

  • Brody slept all. the. time. at first so I did get to nap.  And Kayla did so awesome when Brody was first born.  It took a few months for her to truly realize he wasn't going anywhere but we made it through.  And I can honestly say very consistently now I can get a nap every afternoon as they nap at similar times.  And Brody is just now starting to sleep through the night, but it's partially my fault.  I did sleep, he wakes up at the ass crack of dawn, and I'm not good then.  But I'm learning and changing and adapting.  

  • Day care for 2 kids, can we even afford that?  Can we even afford 2 kids period?

  • So far this is questionable.  :)  Daycare is stupid expensive but we make it work.  And I love our life.

  • Other things:
    • How is it even possible to love another human being as much as you love your first baby?
      • You guys.  It's possible.  It's possible times a million.  In fact, you love your first even more because you see a new side of them you would never have seen.  Them with their sibling.  The human heart has an AMAZING capability to grow and love more and more and more.  It's like endless.
    • I am completely uprooting her life, will she still be my happy, smiley, social baby who is relatively easy and almost always enjoyable to be around?
      • She seemed totally unaffected by Brody.  I think she's happier with him around.  Granted, it was silly of me to think she would always be that "easy" through the 2s and 3s.  But for the most part, she is still a joy to be around and she makes me laugh and smile every day.  And so does her brother.
    • Will she still know how much I love her, or will she think I love her less when BH2 comes?
      • I'm pretty sure she still knows how much I love her.  I think I'm more afraid now that Brody doesn't know how much I love him because Kayla is so demanding of my time.
    • She won't be my baby anymore.  This is all moving a little too fast for me.
      • She'll always be my first baby.  She is like a little person now and I still miss those days with my baby girl, but this is life.  We grow and change and time passes.  But each new phase brings new joys and challenges that make me happy to be in the present.  Time still moves too fast however.
    • I feel bad because I was such a wreck when she was little and I'm going to feel bad if I'm "better" with baby #2 than I was with her.
      • This fear is completely stupid.  What was wrong with me!? :)  I probably was "better" but she doesn't know I was "bad" when she was a baby.  And she is here to help me with Brody.  And she's a great little mommy's helper.

    And finally:

    • I got to spend 8 months with Kayla without having to go back to work.  This is completely not feasible this time around and in fact I may need to go back to work even earlier than I would like.
      • I had to go back to work at 10 weeks.  This one is still a little hard on me.  But I get to be home with both of them 3 days a week and he's gets some socialization at daycare.  I need to work to make their lives better.
    • BH2 will never get as much 1 on 1 time with either of us as Kayla got.
      • Brody gets a lot of 1 on 1 time with daddy because mommy takes Kayla out to distract her a lot.  I get some 1 on 1 time with Brody usually at some point during Kayla's naps.  Sometimes when she is playing independently I get some time with him, but I really want to try to get more time with just him and me.
    • Will BH2 know how much I love him/her when I have to split my time between 2 babies?
      • This one is still up in the air.  I think he knows how much I love him.  We have a very special bond, my baby boy and I.
    • Will I be able to breastfeed as long as I did with Kayla when I have to go back to work SO much earlier?  Can I even pump that much at work?
      • Dude, this one I'm a ROCKSTAR on!  We have only used 1.5 small cans of formula for Brody in his whole life!  I'm pretty consistently worried about my supply and making sure he has enough, but he loves his table food so much I actually think we might make it to a year and beyond!
    • BH2 won't get to spend the quality time with family that Kayla got.
      • This may be true, but Brody got his own room and his own stuff so much sooner than Kayla.  Which may be why he is so much more comfortable sleeping in his crib and not so great about traveling.  I try to look at the bright side.  Plus, he gets to live close to a lot of family more so than Kayla did initially.

    I was also afraid of not getting to spend time with Justin just the two of us and making sure he knows how much he is loved.  This one is still questionable too.  We don't get a lot of time together but we are trying to make time for us.  I'm working on finding baby sitters that aren't my parents or siblings. :)

    If you are a mom of 1 looking to have more kids and reading this post, don't think that just by me writing this you won't have many or all of the fears I had.  You most likely will.  And that's ok.  Everyone will keep telling you the same things I have, because they told me that too.  Just know it will be ok.  It will be more than ok.  It will be perfect, more perfect than you could have imagined.  No, our life is far from perfect, but my kids are happy and healthy and my heart grows more in love every single day.


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    Also, here is a sneak peak of some photos I took on St. Patrick's Day!

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