Loving time away?

This weekend we took our normal Memorial Day weekend trip down to North Carolina, north of the outer banks on a small island called Bells Island.  My in-laws have a trailer on the water and a bunch of friends.  Everyone is "camping."  Where camping means, sleeping in an air conditioned trailer with satellite t.v., a kitchen and bathroom with shower as well as spending the day sunning yourself and riding on sailboats and jetskiis...well usually, unless you are a new mom (or dad.)

We drove to the in-law's in VA Beach early Thursday morning when Kayla got up to eat at 4 am.  We left by 5 am and got there at around 8:15-8:30.  Kayla slept most of the way and wasn't too fussy until the end of the drive, so no stopping.  Point mommy and daddy.

When we arrived I fed her and put her down for a nap so Justin and I could run a few errands before heading down to the Island.  She slept for about an hour and a half or so (after SCREAMING when I tried to put her to nap on a bed) we ended up just setting up her pack n play so she could nap there.  Point Kayla. AND point mommy and daddy (she DID nap pretty well.)

Our friends little girl, Kayden.  She's SUPER adorable and just loves babies and was just so cute with Kayla!

When we got back, Justin's Dad had left work early so he was on his way home.  We weren't sure if we were leaving right away or not so we tried to pack up the cars in case.  We ended up leaving soon after my father-in-law got home and arrived at the island after a 45 minute drive or so.  Kayla slept most of the way and was relatively well behaved while we walked around and introduced her to some people, and saw some others for the first time since she was 4 weeks old.  Point mommy and daddy.

We started our bedtime routine, where she tried to eat the bowl that was housing the rice cereal.  She went to bed with a little bit more crying than normal, and the four of us got to go spend some time at the campfire.  Point mommy and daddy.

Kayla woke up screaming at around 2:30, when I finally gave in a fed her, then she proceeded to poop in a clean diaper I had just changed.  She also woke up again and pretty much for good at about 5:45 am.  Point Kayla.

My in-laws got to experience what I like to call "morning Kayla."  "Morning Kayla" is AWESOME!  She is the best, happiest, giggliest baby ever and she gives you the world's best smiles.  She is almost NEVER fussy.  While they spent time with Kayla, Justin and I got a little extra shut eye.  Point mommy and daddy.

Saturday, Kayla went down for 3 naps.  Nap 1: about an hour, worse than normal.  Slightly cranky in between first and second nap while laying outside in the shade.  Nap 2: 2 hours with large screaming fit in the middle that lasted about 30-40 minutes.  Slightly cranky again.  Nap 3: about an hour and a half.  Not normal napping and slightly crankier than normal.  Point Kayla.

Bedtime routine went as planned, but was later than normal Saturday night.  Kayla woke up at 2 am fussing and went back to sleep after about 10-15 minutes.  Woke up to eat at around 4 am, peed/pooped again and fell back asleep until 8:30 am.  Point mommy and daddy. (Is anyone keeping track?)

Sunday, Kayla took three naps again, the longest being about 50 min to an hour.  She was quite cranky and I spent most of the day going back and forth between the trailer and the water (actually I spent most of the weekend doing this.)  Point Kayla.

Ruffle Butts!!!!  Swoon...

We decided to take the trip back to the in-law's house for that night and leave early in the morning again.  Kayla did great with this.  Slept until 4 am and slept most of the way home again.  Point mommy and daddy.

Since then, she napped horribly yesterday, has been super fussy (as in literally screaming whenever awake) and had a hard time falling asleep.  Yesterday, I tried to put her down for a second nap around 1:30 pm...she screamed...and screamed...and screamed until I gave in.  We also tried to give her rice cereal with formula and formula from a bottle last night....she HATES formula.  She literally screamed every time she even attempted to swallow it.  2 points Kayla.

Today has been slightly better.  She is napping quite well and going down pretty easily with 5 min or less of crying, although the crying seems a lot worse to me...more than just fussing as before. Even though she is sleeping well, she is still super fussy while awake, pretty much the whole time she's awake.  This is really abnormal for her.  I'm just worried something is wrong with my baby... Point Kayla.  But also point mommy and daddy.

Point total:  Kayla 7, mommy and daddy 8...I can't believe we eked that one out. :)

Things I learned this weekend:

• I'm am NOT that mother that enjoys taking a weekend trip where everyone else holds my baby and coos over my baby and plays with my baby.  I don't want a break from Kayla.  All I wanted this weekend was 15 minutes alone with her.  It's hard to not get that when you are used to it all the time.
• I do not enjoy the island as much as a mom...at least not as a mom of a 4 month old.  When she is a little older I'm sure it will be better, but I didn't have as much fun as usual this weekend.  (And I know my in-laws read this blog and it wasn't their fault at all!!!  It was just hard for me.)
• I have a significantly shortened fuse for almost everyone in my life since becoming a mom.  Small things regarding my baby irritate me and sometimes it's hard to hold my tongue.  Good thing I have a great relationship with my in-laws!
• I never, ever, ever want to miss out on seeing "morning Kayla" ever again.  Good thing my job is one where I can work evenings.

*Photos compliments of my father-in-law since I didn't have the energy or desire to pull out my camera and I was too busy with the back and forth thing.

Driving Miss Daisy

I've realized a couple things since becoming a mom.

1. When you have a child, you no longer matter to anyone.  Everything and anything revolves around the little one.  This is ok most of the time, but sometimes you start to feel pretty insignificant.  So significant others and families of new mommas, make sure you take some time to make sure she feels loved, and not just for being the new family member's mom.  And not only on mother's day and her birthday.

2. I still drive pretty much like I did before I had Kayla.  A little bit above the speed limit (yes only a little unless I look down and didn't realize how fast I am going, when I promptly slow down.)  Other drivers always annoyed me a little bit before, especially people that are extremely aggressive drivers and come up to my tail end quickly to try to get me to move out of the lane.  Here's what I say, listen, I'm going more than the speed limit, I'm passing these people on the right, so you can just not get your panties in a wad and wait or go around me.  However, since having Kayla, the one thing that has changed is these types of things annoy me A LOT more now.  Like I feel like shouting at them, "I have a BABY in the car.  If you do ANYTHING to put my child in danger, I'm going to ....(insert idle threat here.)"  Your protective instincts are really heightened after having a child.

Update on thrush:
Remember that post I wrote about NOT having a fussy baby about a week ago?  Yeah, well thrush makes my baby SUPER fussy.  I've been using the Lotrimin for me and the Nystatin in her mouth after almost every feeding.  Yesterday was the worst day I've had with her in all 4 months.  She literally screamed at me for 85% of the day.  She didn't nap as well as she has been and she was basically inconsolable.  Today has been significantly better, and I'm blaming this fussiness on the thrush and increased gassiness (also caused by the thrush.)  I'm feeling a lot less sore when feeding her and I think her mouth doesn't have as much white in it, but I can't really tell as she insists on sticking her tongue in the way whenever I try to look in her mouth.

We've started feeding her about 2 tbsp of rice cereal mixed with 1 oz breastmilk by spoon at night.  The first night was pretty rough but last night she just gobbled it up.  We have also been "dream feeding" her when I go to bed around 10 pm.  So far this seems to be making no difference but it might be because she hasn't been feeling well because of the thrush.  Hopefully, a weekend away at the island will help us all get some rest and get back on track.

I try to take pictures of her fussy faces because, honestly, they make me laugh :)

She loves chewing on Sophie.

MD Update

We had Kayla's 4 month doctor's check up today.  Let's just say, I understand why people always brag about their children now.  I'm so proud of how far she has come, and really, how far we have come as a family.

The nurse always does all the measurements first so without further ado, here they are:

Length: 25 inches (about the 70th percentile)
Weight: 13 pounds 5 ounces (about the 30th percentile)
Head Circumference: 16 1/4 inches (above the 50th percentile, I think she said around the 70th?)

Basically, she is taking after her dad in the head size area.  The nurse said she just has lots of brains, Justin said that's from me.  :)

When the nurse practitioner (if you recall, her name is Theresa) came in we talked a lot about feeding and sleep.  Basically, she said it was fine if we wanted to give her some rice cereal.  We should start with once a day and the go to two if she seems to like it.  We also need to try more cereal with less milk and try to feed it to her on a spoon.  So we will probably start trying that.  Also, she said we could maybe start some fruits/veggies around 5 or 5.5 months (squash or something else that I can't remember were her suggestions.)

As for sleeping, this is one point of serious pride for me and Justin.  We've worked really hard the past week and a half on promoting her independence and falling asleep on her own and our efforts are really paying off.  Our only question was if we should still be waking up at night to feed her.  She said some babies do still need to wake up but we should try a "dream feed" when I go to bed around 9 or 10 and hopefully she would sleep until 6 am without waking.  So this is step number 2 (after the rice cereal).

Once again, Theresa said that Kayla looks great, was so impressed with her strength and Kayla even showed off her rolling skills, while no of us were paying attention.  Don't worry, nothing happened.  I tried to have a talk with her before the appointment saying she wasn't allowed to do that, but when has she listened to me before??  Theresa also said that she wouldn't be surprised at all if Kayla was sitting up on her own at or before her 6 month visit based on what she is doing now.  Wait a minute, can we just take this one day at a time...the days go by too fast as my little girls keeps growing!

The only thing that came up was that it seems that Kayla and I have a little bit of thrush.  It might explain my increased soreness and Kayla's fussiness the past couple days so hopefully the medications will help with that.  I couldn't really expect to go for four months without one little issue with her could I?

Basically, she's the best baby ever.  Theresa didn't say that in so many words, but that's how I interpreted it!

Thanks to my new friend, Lauren, for showing me what I can do with editing!!

4 months ago today...

4 months ago today, at 12:15 am, my water broke.

4 months ago today, a little person, now known as Kayla Marie, was giving me the worst back labor pains I could have ever imagined.

4 months ago today, a midwife challenged me of all people to push my baby out in 5 pushes.

4 months ago today, at 10:16 am, Kayla was welcomed into the world by one too many people in the delivery room. :)

That day, 4 months ago, didn't go as I planned or wanted it to go.  But I wouldn't change that day for a second.

Today, 4 months later, I have a daughter who makes me so proud already.  The smallest things can make you proud of your child:  being able to fall asleep on their own without a binky and without you rocking them to sleep, rolling over no matter how uncoordinated, tracking anything and everything that catches their eye, whether it is you or the black and white dog.

4 months ago today, I would never have guessed that someone's little giggle could fill my heart with so much joy and love that nothing else matters.

When you've been blessed...

with a fussy baby, you just have to embrace it.  This is the post I've been thinking about since Friday.  But after taking Kayla out a few times in the past couple days I've realized something else.

Only you think your baby is fussy.  And even if your baby is fussy, you ALWAYS think they are way more fussy then they actually are.  I guess this is probably because as a mom (or dad) you spend all your time with your little one, so even slight fussiness seems like the end of the world, because you are the only one there who can calm them down.

I went to lunch with some very good friends on Friday, one who hadn't met Kayla yet.  I talked to her afterwards and she said something along the lines of, "Kayla was so good, I can't believe you said she was fussy!"  And then today, a friend at the volleyball tournament said, "Is she always this calm?"

Case and point.  As Justin just said to me, "I just think she's like you and she wants what she wants when she wants it."  I'm not sure if this is a compliment or not...

Anyways, my point is this:

I can't speak for moms that have colicky babies, or moms who actually have fussy babies.  Actually, I can't really speak for anyone but myself, and I definitely do not have a fussy baby.  Yes she fusses sometimes, but almost always it's for a reason.  She's tired, she's dirty, she's hungry, she's bored, she wants to be held or she wants something new to look at.  And inevitably the reason she is fussy is because we are still learning each other's ways.  I am still learning what she needs, when she needs it.

And sometimes I make mistakes.  I get frustrated when she is screaming and I can't figure out why, only to give in and change her diaper and realize, yes, she DID pee a crap ton in the half hour she has had this diaper on.  Basically, it's pretty much never her fault and always mine, but that's ok.  I get the feeling that's how I am going to feel for the rest of her life.  And I'm fine with that, because the smiles, giggles, hugs and opened mouthed kisses are her way of telling me, "It's ok Mommy, I love you and thanks for finally changing my diaper."

Here are a couple photos as belated first mother's day photos.  Justin took one and I took the other.  I also recently realized it really doesn't matter the quality of photo Justin can take, because I can always make it closer to a photo I want with editing.

I've been trying to learn more about editing my photos in Aperture, however, I don't think my version of aperture does that many things.  These are the best I could get for today.  I will soon be getting Photoshop on a loan from my mom so I can really learn how to make my photos great!

Kayla is really getting good at tummy time, and sometimes when she is "fussy" it's because she WANTS to be in this position!  She is now pushing up to her hands (not just her elbows), she is a back to tummy rolling expert, and she is getting much better at getting back to her back from her tummy.  Before we know it, she'll be really moving!  Goodbye blissful time period where I don't have to have my eye on her for every second; I can't even leave her on the bed or couch anymore for a second...such is life!

Until tomorrow, when I will definitely be posting because it's a special day.

Bittersweet Weekend

So, Kayla has been doing pretty well on our new sleep training.  At night, she usually only cries for less than 10 minutes until she falls asleep.  We've had 1 or 2 rough nights after rough days, but they haven't been so bad.  Last night was night #4 on the program.  I had decided she didn't really need or like the rice cereal over the week, but I decided yesterday to maybe try it again.  I was alone with her all day yesterday since Justin played volleyball.  She took 2 one hour naps and one VERY long 2 hour and 20 min nap in the middle of the day.  I started our 30 minute bedtime routine at about 6:30 and gave her the small amount of rice cereal mixed with 2 oz of breastmilk along with 3 more oz of breastmilk.  She cried for about 12 min, fell asleep for a few minutes and cried for about 5 more minutes before falling asleep.  This sounds like more crying than normal but it was actually great because I didn't have to go up and calm her down or soothe her...she did that on her own!  And she slept without 1 whimper until 2:10 am.  This is a HUGE step because she's always crying about an hour after we put her down and we often have to soothe her back to sleep at least once before midnight.  I love progress, it makes my patience and her crying worth it!

The reason the weekend was bittersweet is that on Saturday night, Kayla actually slept quite well and woke up at about 1-1:30 am to eat.  After she ate, I put her back in the pack n play and back to dreamland she went.  While she did that, I tried to figure out why I was super dizzy and nauseous.  I then proceeded to pray to the porcelain gods for the first time (not due to alcohol) in I don't even know how long.  It was horrible.  I think I got food poisoning from something I ate on Saturday.  Needless to say, being sick in the middle of the night when you infant is actually SLEEPING sucks pretty badly.

We are both doing great today though, and Aunt Meg comes home from her very long time away.  Mommy is pretty freaking excited she doesn't have to walk Samson anymore.  Also, Dirty Diaper Laundry is having a "flats and handwashing challenge" for cloth diapering moms and for moms who are on a tight budget as an example of how you can cloth diaper for little money even without a washer/dryer.  I'd love to participate, but I don't actually have any flats.  Flats are basically old school cloth diapers.  It sounds horrible I'm sure to some of my older readers who used these, but since I have been trying to learn all I can about cloth diapering and I'm slightly obsessed (much to the dismay of my husband and our pocketbook), I've been reading up on flats.  I totally want to try them with some covers (new and ones that I have) but we don't really have the money to buy more diapers right now.  Lots of moms like them a lot because they are soft, easy to wash and quick drying and you can use them in many ways, like stuffing your pocket diapers, as an insert in covers and you can fold them like a kite or origami and use a pin or a snappi like "old school" diapers.  Oh to have money right now...

Lastly, if you are a mom, or are interested in blogging/mom bloggers...you seriously need to check out Kelle Hampton.  She writes the most inspiring posts, shares some photography skills and inspiration, and always is showing me websites and cool things I can buy (I have a problem).  I have her blog linked on the right side of my page but check it out here.

Love

Do you have someone in your life who, every time you look at them, the amount of love that fills your heart makes you want to cry?

I do...